In pre-marital conversations I will often raise the question, “What place have secrets in a loving and trusting relationship?”. Really this involves the presence and consequence of lying about the truth. The lying, deceiving partner must recognize that it will take some time, an incalculable time, for the other partner to regain confidence in the self and in the other.

Restoration is possible, achievable but it takes time, suffers relapses and the path is best journeyed with an experienced and wise companion as facilitator.

“Those who tell lies will not remain in my sight” Psalm 101:7

In the ancient book of Psalms, the reader is reminded of the horrific impact of lies and half-truths. The experience of being told lies can easily lead to a profound questioning of self-confidence. Absorbing, believing the lie forces one to evaluate personal ability to evaluate truth and estimate the loyalty of others. So at one movement of lying lips the truth is attacked but also self-confidence and therefore the ability to trust others. Ultimately truth will reign but not so obvious, inevitable is the victory of the soul to whom lies have been told.                                                               Hence the vigorous, aggressive policy of the Psalmist – “liars will not remain in my sight”.