In a recent publication issued by The Episcopal Church, Richelle Thompson writes wisely and engagingly about the impact that different personal styles can make on a meeting. Other titles have been used but “hog, bog and frog” seem an excellent new approach. Click below and read her article.

Click: Hog,Bog or Frog Conversation Styles

My response is that what she describes taking place with church and secular meetings is also a dynamic that occurs in inter-personal (one-on-one) relationships.

One partner seems determined to talk about their “day/concerns/anxieties” so much that they “hog” the time and the emotional energy and the other partner is left, literally and emotionally, speechless.

Most couples find themselves with a shortage of time and energy to talk… for one partner to get so “bogged” down in detail that no time is left for the other is dangerous. Maybe it is wise sometimes to have a conversation about an informal agenda before ever one begins the actual conversation?

The “frogging” partner who dashes from one subject to another, seems annoyed when their partner is not up to speed – that partner needs be captured and encouraged (forcefully) to be still for a while, physically and emotionally and verbally.

As Ms. Thompson suggests, it could work to talk about the “HBF Syndrome” and make passing reference when a partner has forgotten that dynamic; imitating the noises would surely be a cause for an amusing pause?