Alan Neale

Relationships / Weddings

Relationships and the ‘Walking Dead’

“On Nov. 5, 2013, Esmé Weijun Wang came to the remarkable conclusion that she was dead. For almost two months, Wang suffered from Cotard’s syndrome, in which patients think they are dead or somehow nonexistent. Any attempts to point out evidence to the contrary — they are talking, walking around, using the bathroom — are explained away. French neurologist Jules Cotard first described the syndrome in the 1800s as a type of depression characterized by anxious melancholia and delusions about one’s own body. In a case report published in 1880, Cotard wrote of a 43-year-old woman who ‘affirms she has no brain, no nerves, no chest, no stomach, no intestines . . . only skin and bones of a decomposing body.'”

“Zombie Disease”???

dying relationships

Years ago I preached a sermon about “boredom” – that it is a killer to the person and to relationships. After the service, a woman whispered as she left the church, “That’s my marriage, perseveringly boring.”

Rather like Ms. Esme Weijun Wang, my ‘church lady’ had come to a conclusion that death had taken place in her marriage and she seemed resolved to live in that ‘relationship coffin’ until physical death sealed it firmly. Despite some gentle encouragement she also resolved not to speak again of her comment – it happens.

In this predicament there are basically three courses to take.

  1. Doleful acceptance and steadfast resistance to take action.
  2. Divorce. It is often commented that “until death do us part” may well, in this mobile age with longevity, apply to death of marriage as well as death of a partner.
  3. Take action to assess, energize and revive the relationship.

#3 is rarely achieved without a facilitator of some sort or another; I also am persuaded that divine, spiritual help is both available and effective.

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