Given my British background we may well agree to disagree on the pronunciation of “process” – is it “proh… (long ‘o’)” or “pror… (short ‘o’)? However it is pronounced, we won’t argue will we? “Let’s call the calling off.. off”.

Well that was complicated but it is just the beginning of considering the importance of “process” in our lives.

In preparing couples for their wedding, I have constantly endeavored to stress that this is not the same as preparation for their marriage. Though wedding preparations are stressful (understatement!) and detailed to the point of overwhelming, all agree that the time will come when the process is completed, accomplished, last ‘i’ dotted, last ‘t’ crossed etc. etc. etc.

But the preparation for a living, loving marriage is a constant process and couples forget this at their cost; and the cost of children and family.

Process means a constant renewal of commitment, an acceptance of partially accomplished goals, a readiness to forgive and begin again. Over recent years I have encouraged couples to have at least one of the pre-marital conversations with me after the marriage… just to emphasis, the process continues.

Accepting process leads to strengthening peace, healthy contentment and invigorating hope.

In Hebrew Scripture we are told often of the stages by which the people of God traveled, of their “relapses” and their renewals. This is truly a divine pattern, functional and reasonable. “From the wilderness of Sin the whole congregation of the Israelites journeyed by stages, as the Lord commanded” Exodus 17:1-7.

I resist the strong temptation to write about my understanding of even God… in process. Another time, maybe!