Most days I read, almost religiously, pages from a few AA devotional books. I know there must be a “new-agey” word for devotional but I have not time to find it, sorry. The undiscerning, dismissive, prejudiced mind will reject such pages as wildly irrelevant and wholly inappropriate and yet… such reflections come from those who are writing honestly about their experience of bondage and recovery, and also bondage and recovery and relapse and recovery. This is an experience common to human existence and finds expression in all manner of ways and types of situations – at home, work, school or church, just to name a few.

Yesterday I read of the importance of “patience, open-mindedness and willingness in conversations.”. Given my addiction to acronyms I immediately recognized P.O.W.

Patience – this is the commitment to wait patiently while our partner, colleague, friend makes contact with their deep emotions and then struggles to articulate and express them. To wait patiently is also to allow ourselves time to reflect upon how and why we are reacting to what we are hearing; hearing maybe not for the first time, but hearing with clarity as never before.

Open-mindedness – this is the ability to listen without wanting to finish a sentence, provide a solution or justify ourselves. This is not easy. Open-mindedness is to allow a fresh perspective, new insights with which to understand what we are being told.

Willingness – ah, the willingness to change ourselves as the result of what we are hearing. Recently I asked a friend, “What would you like God to do for you?” His response? “That’s scary.” Yes, it is scary because expression of and attention to the question will undoubtedly require change. One of the most challenging prayers I pray is deceptively simple “God bless him/her/them, change me.” I have found it daunting at times to ask for blessing on those who have hurt me, generally I find it takes time to move to “change me.”

Of course P.O.W. has a much more august and robust traditional meaning – prisoners of war. Maybe without my use of POW we are condemned to being POWs?

Please share this – Alan