“To learn that I can love without greed or anxiety has been one of the greatest gifts that the program has given me” Daily Reflections
“Even with the people we dislike we can try to be courteous, trying to understand and help them” A Day At A Time
“I pray that I may make use of everything… in order to help other people” 24 Hours A Day

I’m not sure where to begin with these quotations.

Courtesy, kindness. As far as I know, from personal and pastoral experience, there are times when even the most loving and warm relationship wanders into the wasteland of “I don’t like you”. The words may not be expressed but they are present, in the air.

Maybe on a wearisome day it is the little habit of eating, driving, speaking that drives one to despair; sometimes it is caused by something far more serious.

Whatever the cause, a commitment to courtesy will save the day and move a fragmented relationship back to wholeness.

Authentic love. It is not surprising that there are several words for love in the New Testament for, as we all well know, it is difficult to define love. But working from the negative (not an altogether bad philosophical process) to love without “greed or anxiety” is beautifully attractive. When we love without demanding from the other, implicitly or explicitly, something to satiate our greed or quell our anxiety then we are healthy. Actually, as I read these words, I need to add an extra dimension. As we come to know ourselves better and we recognize that we are treating the other as a buffet bar of emotions to satisfy our needs then… the threat is greatly reduced if we can share why, what, how we are acting with the partner. Naming a demon leads to defeating the demon.

Living moment by moment. I will not, do not, cannot believe that God sends us tests to try us, ordeals to test our mettle but… as we grow in the practice of reflection every experience can lead us to a deeper, more thorough understanding. With this understanding we can better love our partner.