I believe that all I do is the result of mixed motives; not necessarily a mixture of pure and not pure, of good and not good but simply a mixture of motives. To any decision and action I bring all of me and that includes “past me of experiences” and “future me of hopes and fears”.
So, consider, I am struggling with a decision that will definitely make an impact on several of those nearest to me… several times I have started to write the provocative email and then pressed delete.
The decision that looms is definitely for some good motives beyond my own but I will confess to the few readers of this post that the decision (maybe even some of the negative effects) pleases me also.
As St. Paul says, “O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from the body of corruption?”.
Of course to delay, defer and procrastinate is in itself a decision and one with which I am just not happy, comfortable or at ease.
So with a prayer to the Lord, or several prayers, I will send the email (maybe even today). Thank God He is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end… so I pray His calming good purpose will be at the beginning of this ‘adventure’ as well at is final end and consequences.
Here goes!